5 Ways to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace???

I recently came across this blog by Ken Sterling: 5 Ways to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

The article is similar to many in the emotional intelligence area and contains what I believe are many of the same mistakes.  Let us look at the suggestions that Ken Sterling makes:

1.        Avoid the Negatives – Starting with your Own

The intermingling of emotional intelligence with positive thinking is perhaps the most common mistake made by many supposed EQ experts.  The typical mantra is that bad feelings can cloud judgment and overwhelm you, so managing them is a matter of positive thinking.  The irony is that this is exactly the opposite what two of the founders of Emotional Intelligence, David Caruso and Peter Salovey preach.  In their book, The Emotionally Intelligent Manager: How to Develop and Use the Four Key Emotional Skills of Leadership the authors stress how wrong it is to be always positive and for example going into a budget review meeting or new project meeting you should allow negative emotions to dominate. 

Similarly the film, Inside Out, makes a similar point.  You should not try to eliminate Sadness from your emotions by always being Joyful but remember Sadness is a necessary and valuable part of life, and integral to making good decisions.

2.      Make Connections

I could not agree more with this point.  However while Sterling talks about digital connections I think what is important is face-to-face connections.  If you are going to digitally connect with someone use Facetime or Skype in the beginning.  I semi-retired in June 2007 but every day I try to participate in some form of face to face networking, be it golf, bridge or going to networking event in the CBD.  When my wife and I go out to dinner and see young couples scrolling through their smart phones during the meal we weep.  Mind you at home my wife spends more time talking to the cat than to me.

3.      Trust Others

I am first to admit that it is fantastic if you have a trusting relationship with another person and it is the key to a successful marriage.  However to simplistically trust others will lead you to ruin.  There are people and cultures in this world that are not based on trust.  If you visit China, you must remember the Chinese lie about everything all the time and there is no stigma against lying. It is as common and as acceptable as drinking water.  Begin your visit with that viewpoint and you will have a great time.

Why I love the Humm-Wadsworth  is that it is the only profiling system that includes a component that recognises corporate psychopaths.  About 14% of the population contain a higher than average Hustler component and you need to recognise these people and have the social skills to deal with them.  Fail to do so can lead to much regret later in life.

4.      Don’t Act Too Quickly

We all know that haste makes waste and when looking at investments for example you need to consider the trade-off between risk and reward.  However there are some people in life who are quick and decisive.  If you procrastinate with them, they will soon disrespect you.  The problem is that these people generally rise to positions of decision making.  So acting cautiously during initial meetings will only alienate them which is not the emotionally intelligent way.

5.      Make Work Fun and Challenging

I could not agree more.  Humour is a critical part of humanity.  I never forgot the first advice given to me when I began my career as a salesperson.  “The only thing more contagious than enthusiasm is the lack of it.”

6.      When in Doubt… Breathe

This is again very good advice.  While we cannot control many parts of our autonomic nervous system, such as digestion, heart rate, and body temperature, the one thing we can control is our own conscious breathing.  It is good to practice the following breathing technique whenever you are feeling anxious or stressed. 

    Inhale through your nose for a count of 4.

    Hold that breath for a count of 4.

    Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of 4.

    Hold the empty breath for a count of 4.

Finally if you want to be seen as emotionally intelligent do not in an article titled 5 Ways to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace list six ways.  It demonstrates you cannot count and destroys your credibility.