The Smiling Face of Anger: Emotional Intelligence in Action

 

One of my favourite parts of Inside Out is when Joy and Sadness are not at Headquarters leaving Disgust, Fear and Anger at the control console.  As Anger comes up with various ideas such as stealing the credit card of Riley’s mother, he puts on a wicked smile.

Recently Inc published an interesting article about how Warriors Coach Steve Kerr Just Showed a Completely Different Side of Emotional Intelligence when during a match he disagreed angrily with a referee’s call and when they finally gave a technical foul against their opponents suddenly switched modes and smiled at the opposition coach across the court (the clip in the article is most revealing). 

The author, Justin Bariso, argues that Steve Kerr is demonstrating emotional intelligence in this case and I agree with him.  While most would argue that the emotionally intelligent people control their emotions, those leaders with high emotional intelligence know that anger and confrontation can be very useful tools. Hi EQ leaders are willing to engage, when necessary in conflict and confrontation.  Many people believe that to get along you go along.  This belief is inculcated from an early age.  However, leaders have discovered that conflict will often provide you far more power than pliability and this clip is a wonderful example.

Bariso argues that Kerr has an immediate emotional reaction to the ref's call. He could rein that reaction in and respond very calmly, or perhaps not at all but believes that he will get a more desirable result by wearing his anger on his sleeve.  Not only does he earn a technical foul but he shows his players that he is fully committed and how seriously they should be taking this game.  It is vital that the players feel the coach supports them and is willing to fight for them when they are being treated unfairly (which was the case in this instance).

However do not think that this is just emotional control.  When Kerr was a player he was famous as a calm, collected, and clutch shooter who made shots when they counted most--for a number of different teams.  Kerr, like many sportspeople, has a lot of Hustler component in his temperament.  Yes they want to win, but they love being in a position where they can both put on an act and then come through with clutch plays under pressure.  Hustlers just love playing games.